Tag: mental health

  • It’s Okay to Want More

    It’s Okay to Want More

    They say I have everything I could ask for.
    That there’s no cause for me to complain.
    Am I depressed or am I just lazy?
    I wonder sometimes if I’m sane.

    I am tired most all of the time.
    Motivation has fled from my sight.
    Why can’t I feel things more shallowly?
    Sometimes everything feels like a fight.

    A parent’s heart can feel heavy.
    Fatigue and exhaustion at times wear me down.
    Taking care of myself is too burdensome.
    The load drags my soul to the ground.

    Using hair products is not my jam.
    My wrinkles need lotions and salve.
    I work all week and take care of my family.
    Wearing makeup is effort I don’t have.

    I solve a backlog of problems.
    Soothe everyone that despises change.
    Making things better for people.
    Listen to objections come down like the rain.

    People tell ladies to smile so widely.
    They say to be happy while they wear a smirk.
    They judge mothers and call us ungrateful.
    When we go out and we f’ing work.

    Next time you sit on your high horse.
    Running your mouth and prove you’re a bore.
    Take your mediocrity and go shove it.
    This is my life it’s okay to want more.

    ~Lella M Fulton

    ©2024 Copyright

    This powerful poem delves into the raw emotions of exhaustion, self-doubt, and resilience. I wrote it because I was so tired of people telling me to smile. Seriously, shut up and leave working moms alone. This poignant piece captures the struggles of balancing motherhood, work, and personal identity while confronting societal expectations. With vivid imagery and heartfelt honesty, it resonates with women, mothers, and anyone seeking inspiration through poetry about mental health, empowerment, and the human experience. Dive into this evocative work that challenges stereotypes and celebrates the strength to demand more from life.

  • Why “Everything in Moderation” Doesn’t Work for Everyone: Especially for Those Struggling with Addiction

    Why “Everything in Moderation” Doesn’t Work for Everyone: Especially for Those Struggling with Addiction

    Hey there, folks. If you’ve ever dipped your toes into the world of self-improvement or health advice, you’ve probably come across the old saying: “everything in moderation.” It sounds so reasonable, right? Like, yeah, I can have a slice of cake now and then without going overboard. But let me tell you, as someone who’s seen the grip of addiction up close… whether through friends, family, or even my own battles… this blanket advice just doesn’t cut it for everyone. In fact, for people dealing with addiction, it can be downright dangerous. Today, I’m diving into why “everything in moderation” is way too generalized and often ineffective for those in the throes of addiction. If you’re searching for why moderation fails addicts or alternatives to moderation in recovery, stick around… this post is for you.

    The Myth of Moderation: Why It Sounds Good But Falls Short

    Let’s start with the basics. “Everything in moderation” is that feel-good mantra tossed around in diet books, wellness blogs, and even therapy sessions. It promotes balance… enjoying life’s pleasures without excess. For many people without underlying issues, it works fine. You can have a glass of wine at dinner or an occasional treat, and that’s that. But here’s the kicker: this advice assumes everyone has the same level of self-control and brain wiring. Spoiler alert… not everyone does.

    For folks with addiction, moderation isn’t just hard… it’s often impossible. Addiction rewires the brain, making it crave more and more of the substance or behavior. Trying to “moderate” can feel like walking a tightrope over a pit of spikes… one slip, and you’re back to square one.

    Why “Everything in Moderation” Is Too Generalized

    Think about it… this phrase is thrown at everything from eating habits to screen time. It’s like a one-size-fits-all T-shirt that looks okay on some but swallows others whole. The problem? It ignores individual differences, especially when addiction is in the mix. Addiction isn’t a choice or a lack of willpower… it’s a chronic brain disease that affects decision-making and impulse control.

    For someone without addiction, moderation might mean cutting back on sweets to lose a few pounds. But for an addict, even a small amount can trigger a full-blown relapse. Studies and experts agree that attempting moderation often prolongs the problem instead of solving it. It’s generalized because it doesn’t account for the progressive nature of addiction… where what starts as “just one” quickly spirals out of control.

    How Moderation Fails People with Addiction

    Alright, let’s get real about addiction. Whether it’s alcohol, drugs, gambling, or even food, the “moderation” approach can backfire big time. Here’s why:

    1. Brain Chemistry Betrayal: Addiction alters the reward system in your brain. That “just one drink” lights up the same pathways as a binge, making it nearly impossible to stop.
    2. The Slippery Slope of Triggers: Moderation often exposes you to triggers… environments, people, or emotions that kickstart cravings. It’s not about weakness; it’s biology.
    3. False Sense of Control: Trying to moderate can give a misleading high of “I’ve got this,” only to lead to overindulgence later. Many recovering addicts find abstinence way easier than the constant battle of control.
    4. Relapse Risks: Research shows that for most addicts, moderation isn’t sustainable long-term. It can delay real recovery and increase the chances of relapse.

    I’ve chatted with people in recovery groups who swear that ditching moderation for full abstinence was the game-changer. One friend put it this way: “Moderation was my excuse to keep the door cracked open… and addiction always kicked it wide.”

    Alternatives to Moderation: What Actually Helps in Addiction Recovery

    If moderation isn’t the answer, what is? For many, abstinence is the gold standard… completely cutting out the addictive substance or behavior. But recovery isn’t one-and-done; it’s a toolkit of strategies. Here are some effective alternatives:

    • Professional Treatment: Therapy, rehab, or programs like AA/NA that emphasize total sobriety.
    • Building Self-Discipline: Start with small wins in other areas to strengthen that muscle, but don’t test it on your addiction.
    • Mindfulness and Support Networks: Practices like meditation or joining communities where moderation myths are debunked.
    • Holistic Approaches: Addressing underlying issues like mental health, which often fuel addiction.

    Remember, what works is personal… consult a pro to tailor it to you.

    Wrapping It Up: Time to Ditch the Moderation Myth

    In the end, “everything in moderation” might work for the average Joe, but for those wrestling with addiction, it’s often a recipe for frustration and failure. It’s too generalized, ignoring the unique challenges of addiction. If you’re struggling or know someone who is, seek help that focuses on real, sustainable recovery… not half-measures. You’ve got this… one step at a time.

    Sources:

    1. Why Can’t Alcoholics Drink in Moderation? – Desert Cove Recovery – https://desertcoverecovery.com/blog/why-cant-alcoholics-drink-in-moderation/
    2. Why “everything in moderation” is moderately useless advice – https://www.xperthealth.org.uk/x-pert-blogs/everything-in-moderation-blog/
    3. The “Everything in Moderation” Mentality Doesn’t Work For Most – https://medium.com/change-your-mind/the-everything-in-moderation-mentality-doesnt-work-for-most-8732c2b7c5f0
    4. Abstinence vs. Moderation – SMART Recovery – https://smartrecovery.org/smart-articles-draft/abstinence-vs-moderation
    5. Alcohol & The Myth Of Moderation | Sanctuary Recovery – https://sanctuary-recovery.com/blog/alcohol-myth-moderation/
    6. Abstinence Versus Moderation in Addiction Treatment – https://wholeview.co/abstinence-versus-moderation-in-addiction-treatment-which-works-best/
    7. Why doesn’t getting drunk “in moderation” work? : r/stopdrinking – https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/17p8qx5/why_doesnt_getting_drunk_in_moderation_work/
    8. Is Moderation Possible in Recovery? – Willingway – https://willingway.com/is-moderation-possible-in-recovery/
    9. Why “Everything in Moderation” Is Still, Sometimes Too Much – https://www.recoveryconnection.com/everything-moderation-still-sometimes-much/